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Showing posts with label Newlywed Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Newlywed Advice. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Arranged Marriage

Arranged marriage has been the traditional way of conducting marriages from the ancient times. Much have changed in the modern world and today in many parts of the world especially the western part, marriage decision is totally left to the two individuals who decide to live together based on love, trust and commitment to each other. This love, trust and commitment is built over time by knowing each other. But in majority of the Middle East and south Asian countries marriage is still fully arranged or at least partly arranged by the elders in the family and by other authorities and the so called gatekeepers of the society. These people have considerable influence on the family based on religious and caste based structures.

photo credit: greenweddingshoes.com
So let's understand what an arranged marriage is and what are the positives and negatives of the arranged type of marriage. Further if you decide to go for an arranged marriage it would be also wise to take some tips and guidelines regarding this type of marriage.

To start with, we can define arranged marriages as marriages which are primarily decided by third parties other than the two individuals who are actually going to get married. It is also called as prearranged marriage. As this kind of marriage is arranged by someone other than the persons actually getting married, the process of courtship is completely curtailed or shortened to a great extent.

Now these "other persons" in highly traditional societies may include parents, family elders, relatives, priests and religious leaders. In a little more liberal atmosphere we can see the utilization of the services of matchmaking agents, family friends and matrimonial sites. It has been seen that the matrimonial sites offer at least some scope for the couple to know each other before getting married. All other avenues, to a very large extent are out of the direct control and influence of the actual people getting married.

Arranged marriage: Positives of the arranged type of marriage
Now let's analyze the positive points of the arranged type of marriage. The first and foremost thing that comes into mind when we discuss the positives of arranged marriage is the full support of the families from both sides. Arranged marriages are decided after lot of meetings and discussions among parents and elder members in the family and therefore the chance of any discord in the family as regard to the marriage can be mostly eliminated out. Further these marriages are built on a solid foundation of two families coming together and therefore the actual people getting married get lot of confidence. In fact the trust among them increases to a great extent because of the all round approval.

Arranged marriage settings actually take away lot of burden and uncertainty from the lives of the unmarried boys and girls. For example if the boy or the girl fully know that they are going to get married only through arranged type of marriage then they don't have to take the trouble of hunting their life partners by their own. They can concentrate all their energies on more purposeful and fruitful endeavours like higher education and a career and leave the decision of their marriage completely to their parents. The other benefits of the arranged marriage include financial and physical support from both the families for the newly wedded couple in terms of starting a new household of their own.

Moreover the extended family also provides a cushion in relatively tougher times. The long term benefits of an arranged marriage include a secure environment for the next generation under the watchful eyes of the grandparents and a large family.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

5 Ways to Make Your Wedding More Meaningful

A wedding is a very special time. It symbolizes the love of the bride and groom of course, but also the union of their families, and their entrance into society as a couple. It can be very easy to get caught up in the grandeur and excitement of a wedding and forget about the meaning behind it all. These are five simple ways to make your wedding more meaningful.


Remember: One of the things that make wedding ceremonies so special is that they have a link to the past. If you have loved ones who have passed on, it can be very nice to find a way to remember them on your wedding day. There are a variety of ways to do so. Perhaps the groom has lost his parents; he can memorialize them by setting aside the seats at the ceremony that they would have normally used. Put a bouquet of white flowers on each one in their memory. Candles can also be a wonderful way to remember a loved one. The bride and groom can light a candle in memory of a cherished grandmother or other family member as part of the ceremony.

Carry on Customs: If anyone has ever been married in your family before you (a pretty safe bet), then you have family customs that you can draw on for your own wedding. One of the nicest things that a bride can do is to wear her mother's wedding gown. Even if the gown does not work for you as is, you can take a little piece of lace or fabric from her gown and have it sewn into your dress. Another idea is to carry the same flowers in your bouquet that your mother or grandmother did. You can have your florist replicate the bouquet from old photographs. The bouquet can be modernized if you choose by updating the style of ribbon on the stems. Some newlyweds will choose to honor their parents by dancing to the same first song as either the bride or groom's parents did at their wedding.

Give: Instead of letting your wedding be all about you ("I'm the bride, and it's MY day!"), take the opportunity to give back to others. This can mean giving something to those that are a part of you wedding, such as gifts of jewelry to your bridesmaids. (Bridesmaid jewelry gifts are not only a chance to show your generosity, they also are a nice gesture to show your appreciation for all that your attendants have done for you to make your wedding special.) You can also think of giving in the broader sense. Donate the extra food from your reception to a homeless shelter. Instead of candy, give your guests favors like saplings to plant, or make a donation in their names to a charity. After the wedding, you can even donate your bridal gown to a fundraising organization.

Cherish Family: Your wedding is not just about the two of you; your families are an important part of it as well. Be sure to show your parents, in particular, how much you appreciate all that they have done for you. One beautiful gesture that will not cost you a cent is to write a letter to each parent for them to read on the morning of the wedding. If you have family members from whom you have become estranged, your wedding can also be the perfect time for a reconciliation.

Respect the Earth: More and more couples are doing their best to "green" up their weddings. You can take simple steps such as choosing invitations that are made from recycled paper. Pick a caterer who will serve produce and meat from local organic farms. Take an eco-friendly honeymoon. You can also shoe respect for the creatures of the earth by avoiding doing such things as releasing doves or butterflies as part of your ceremony (the poor creatures rarely survive).

Once you get started, you will find that there are many ways to add meaning to your wedding. It helps to keep the focus on what is truly important. When all is said and done, your guests will find it a privilege to be a part of such a special day.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Marriage Contract - Do You Take This Woman to Be Your Lawfully Wedded Wife?

Do you promise to love this woman? Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and cherish her? In sickness and in health? For better or for worse? Until death do you part? Do you know what it means to promise forever to a woman? The divorce rates, to date, say you don't; we don't. I believe you when you say, "I am in love with her" but I am not sure if you believe your promise to love her forever. Forever takes guts and fortitude.


Forever is not a feeling, it is an attitude

The question is: Did you choose a woman that was really worth loving all your life, until death? Is this the woman who you choose to bury you or whom you will bury? Did you choose the ultimate friend? or did you choose this woman because she was the first to send your rockets to the moon? or was it because she conquered her gag reflex? Did you think the incredible sex would last your entire lifetime? Did you think her breasts would still be perky at forty five, after three kids? Or did you stop to think that grey hairs would eventually flourish on the Bermuda triangle of joy? Do I need remind you that as she ages so will you? Or do you imagine yourself eternally youthful and virile? Do you know that as a woman she may have to fight off diseases indigenous to her racially or otherwise? Did you know that fibroid tumors might attack her insides and bring your sex Goddess to her knees as age creeps up on her? Did you know she is likely to suffer from breast cancer, hypertension, diabetes, uterine cancer, osteoporosis and a multitude of other diseases particular to her race?

When her eyes pale and her senses dim will you keep your promise to love and cherish her? Or when Alzheimer's disease sets into your brain will you care about anything? Will it matter that she is the one there to hold on to you when you can't hold on to a single memory? Do you realize that by leaving her she might end up just like your Mom: single and struggling to raise your children because you impoverished her by walking away? Do you have the courage to stand up to your bold promises of forever? Do you think your child support can support the loss of life and opportunity you took from her? And are you ready to go backwards in your life financially because you haven't really done the Math about being single? Is it fair to walk away and leave her after she has made you a better man, only to let some other woman earn the benefit of your evolved state of being. Have you really thought this through? or does that sweet, supple, PYT have you believing that forty is the new twenty? and so on and so on? When you are grey and distinguished in your senior sexiness, will she be a badge of your age or a medal of your heart?

Do you have "forever" courage? Or you just think that you do? Do we even know what that means? It seems like our fore parents knew about forever, what's different? Why don't we know that kind of commitment in our relationships? And how come we seem to be moving backwards?

Marriage is probably the toughest contract on earth.

So remind me again my brother what does "in love got to do with it?" What does "in love got to do with love and cherish or for better or for worse?" Come again when the evening is near and show me your spear young warrior, bent from from life's hardships, tempered by regrets, a mere relic to be cast on the heap of life's disappointments. Tell me then, "I take this woman for better of or worse"

"Courage young grasshopper"

Michael Eric Markland: I am passionate about making a change in the climate of today's relationships. My book tells it all from a man's perspective, revealing the raw truth about men and the lengths they will go to, to accomplish their agenda. In the book women learn to: Recognize toxic thought patterns that make them easy prey for men, prevent men from taking control of their minds from the first date. negotiate healthy terms for their relationships at the beginning, and stop making fatal mistakes like "jumping into cars and relationships with total strangers".

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

5 Ways to Make Your Wedding More Meaningful

A wedding is a very special time. It symbolizes the love of the bride and groom of course, but also the union of their families, and their entrance into society as a couple. It can be very easy to get caught up in the grandeur and excitement of a wedding and forget about the meaning behind it all. These are five simple ways to make your wedding more meaningful.

Remember: One of the things that make wedding ceremonies so special is that they have a link to the past. If you have loved ones who have passed on, it can be very nice to find a way to remember them on your wedding day. There are a variety of ways to do so. Perhaps the groom has lost his parents; he can memorialize them by setting aside the seats at the ceremony that they would have normally used. Put a bouquet of white flowers on each one in their memory. Candles can also be a wonderful way to remember a loved one. The bride and groom can light a candle in memory of a cherished grandmother or other family member as part of the ceremony.

Carry on Customs: If anyone has ever been married in your family before you (a pretty safe bet), then you have family customs that you can draw on for your own wedding. One of the nicest things that a bride can do is to wear her mother's wedding gown. Even if the gown does not work for you as is, you can take a little piece of lace or fabric from her gown and have it sewn into your dress. Another idea is to carry the same flowers in your bouquet that your mother or grandmother did. You can have your florist replicate the bouquet from old photographs. The bouquet can be modernized if you choose by updating the style of ribbon on the stems. Some newlyweds will choose to honor their parents by dancing to the same first song as either the bride or groom's parents did at their wedding.

Give: Instead of letting your wedding be all about you ("I'm the bride, and it's MY day!"), take the opportunity to give back to others. This can mean giving something to those that are a part of you wedding, such as gifts of jewelry to your bridesmaids. (Bridesmaid jewelry gifts are not only a chance to show your generosity, they also are a nice gesture to show your appreciation for all that your attendants have done for you to make your wedding special.) You can also think of giving in the broader sense. Donate the extra food from your reception to a homeless shelter. Instead of candy, give your guests favors like saplings to plant, or make a donation in their names to a charity. After the wedding, you can even donate your bridal gown to a fundraising organization.

Cherish Family: Your wedding is not just about the two of you; your families are an important part of it as well. Be sure to show your parents, in particular, how much you appreciate all that they have done for you. One beautiful gesture that will not cost you a cent is to write a letter to each parent for them to read on the morning of the wedding. If you have family members from whom you have become estranged, your wedding can also be the perfect time for a reconciliation.

Respect the Earth: More and more couples are doing their best to "green" up their weddings. You can take simple steps such as choosing invitations that are made from recycled paper. Pick a caterer who will serve produce and meat from local organic farms. Take an eco-friendly honeymoon. You can also shoe respect for the creatures of the earth by avoiding doing such things as releasing doves or butterflies as part of your ceremony (the poor creatures rarely survive).

Once you get started, you will find that there are many ways to add meaning to your wedding. It helps to keep the focus on what is truly important. When all is said and done, your guests will find it a privilege to be a part of such a special day.


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Friday, January 24, 2014

Secrets For A Wonderful Start To Your Marriage

Sometimes couples have unrealistic expectations about what marriage should
be like for them. These needs are everything from provisional to emotional.
Trying to meet these expectations can be quite a task. Presupposing these
expectations will be met can be disastrous. When your expectations are not
met this sets you up to be unhappy and to complain. This can quickly frustrate
even the happiest of newlyweds. Strengthen your marriage with a solid
foundation. Make sure you start off with the right tools.

1) Remember that it is an adjustment to being together. Give it time.
Working out the questions of who is going to do what and how should it be done
can cause conflict. Questions like, " Who is going to pay the bills?" "Who is
going to clean the bathrooms?" "Which church are we going to attend?" must be
answered. Don't let these adjustment challenges come between you and the one
you love.

2) Embrace your spouse's differences verus criticizing them or trying to
change them. Be your spouse's biggest fan. Stay away from stereotypes that
your partner won't be able to fulfill. You will break their spirit if you
expect them to be just like your mom, your dad, or someone else you admire. Be
appreciative of your spouse. It takes time for a marriage to mature.

3) Fortify your commitment to each other. Never threaten divorce. You'll
probably think about it at some point in your marriage but don't ever say it.
( This does not apply to situations that involve abuse.) Threatening divorce
will dilute the commitment between you. Your message needs to be, "I'm Here
For You No Matter What."

4) Don't let friends, parents, or in-laws interfere with your marriage. You
are inviting trouble if you do. Be quick to set limits with people who try and
interfere with your marriage. By not speaking up you will be setting
yourselves up to have your marriage undermined. You and your spouse need to
establish your own expectations for your marriage.

5) Try not to go to bed angry. Staying connected to each other is more
important. However, if you catch yourselves in a situation in which emotions
are too high, you may have to back off and readdress the matter at a later
time. Conflict if handled properly can be productive. Promise to fight fairly
and do the right thing even if you don't feel like it.

Keep These Points In Mind At Times Of Conflict

* Don't Yell

* Don't Out TalkThem

* Don't Use Profanity

* Don't Interrupt

* Don't Name Call

* Don't Dismiss Their Ideas As Stupid

* Don't throw all of your problems into the conflict

* Don't Forget That You Love Each Other

*Try and stick to the subject at hand

6) Get away with each other about every 6 to 8 weeks. This means by
yourselves. No friends, no parents, and no children. I know this is easier
said than done but it doesn't have to be anything extravagant. It can be a
simple day trip to a near-by town or state park. So near-by or far away, just
go. My Marriage and Family Therapy Professor at Valdosta State University, Dr.
John Curtis, used to teach us that this is one of the best ways to keep your
marriage fresh and alive.

If you are a newlywed, practice these principles. If you've been married for a
while, recommit yourself to these principles. Strive To Have A Wonderful
Marriage.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Advice For Newlyweds to Ensure Their Marriage Stays the Course

I'm sure you have heard the term 'Honeymoon period' before. It's used to describe the initial few months a couple is together, or in some cases, is married. The love and lust the couple are experiencing is usually enough to mask any issues or flaws the relationship might have. Everything is fresh, your sex life is thriving and everything is well with the world. At some point though, reality is going to set it and it can be a shock to the system. By getting married, you have made a big life changing step. You have committed yourself to another person. You live with someone, share your finances, share your future and generally share your life.
I consider a married couple to be newlyweds, right up until they have been married one year. This year is absolutely crucial and will have a massive say on whether you are going to stay together for a long time. Some couples don't ever recover from the adjustment they have to make from the honeymoon period to regular life together. It's when things aren't going well that you really discover how much you actually feel for each other, and how determined you are to stay the course.
As soon as cracks start appearing in your marriage, it's a good idea to face up to these issues and take action to deal with them. The earlier the better. Some might say that you don't truly get to know each other until the honeymoon period is over. When problems present themselves, don't let them build and threaten the marriage - take action. Imagine if you could ensure that you have a sensational marriage? I'm here to tell you that you can.

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Monday, December 2, 2013

Marriage Advice For Newlyweds - Calm Down

As a newlywed, you need to take the time to calm down and not go into panic mode when you find that your first year of marriage is not turning out how you thought it would be. Hollywood can make things seem all rosy with their fairytale romance movies and unrealistic lives. While there is real happiness to be found outside of the movie set, it does take a lot of work. But taking the time to calm down and work out the difficulties you find yourselves having can bring you true closeness and deep happiness in the end.
The following is an article that will show you how you can avoid 3 mistakes that you may encounter in your first year of marriage.
1. Forget about the past. You decided to get married because you loved each other and wanted to spend your lives together. This requires some getting to know each other, compromising and working things out. Just because we as humans like to only remember the good times and forget the bad times, does not mean that they do not happen. Always thinking about how things were in the past will stop you from being able to focus on the here and now.
2. Don't play the comparison game with other couples around you. It is not fair to either you or your spouse to start comparing your marriage with those of others. Just because another couple may look like they are always happy, does not mean that is the truth. You do not know the troubles they have behind closed doors. All relationships need time to grow and mesh as one. By comparing yourself to others, you do not have the energy and concentration you need to make your own marriage work.
3. Don't give yourself a time limit before deciding it is time to throw in the towel. As long as there is no physical abuse happening, there is always time and hope to work things out. You must remember that being married is new for both of you. It can be a big change and takes time to grow into a partnership that works well as a team. You do not know when things will get better. Giving up before you find out is not fair to anyone. Try something every day and you will soon find things will improve.
The first year of marriage is an adjustment period for all newlyweds. By all means, while it takes time to get used to living with someone else, you should never give up too easily. The most important marriage advice therefore is to make sure you do not compare yourself to other couples, don't stay in the past dreaming about how things used to be, and don't call it quits before you have tried your best. If you stick it out you will soon find happiness once again.


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Monday, November 18, 2013

Marriage Relationship Advice and Tips For Newlyweds


You finally got married to the love of your life and you could not be happier. Congratulations! Unfortunately, keeping a marriage healthy and happy is harder than it may seem at first. Many marriages actually end within the first few years, simply because the couple wasn't ready to commit to each other and share life with each other. Below you will find some marriage relationship advice for newlyweds, which will help you give your relationship the best chance of success.
The best marriage relationship advice you could be given is to compromise with your partner. When you become married, you are becoming part of a team. It is important that you never go over your partners head in order to make any major decisions. Whether it's a major purchase or any other big decision, it is something that should be discussed with the other partner before it is done.
Sex can be a big part of any relationship. Remember to keep things fun and exciting in the bedroom. Don't let your sexual relationship become stale or boring, or even non existent. Otherwise, neither of you are going to be happy.
Communication is the most important part of any relationship. I am always surprised when I hear about couples that simply do not communicate with one another. Make it a point to share your feelings, anger, frustration, or joy with your partner and invite them to do the same.
Following this marriage relationship advice is really important. If you want your relationship to remain healthy and strong, and if you truly want to stay with your partner 'til death do you part, then I suggest you follow the steps above. If your marriage is to succeed you will need to be open, honest, and understanding with your partner.

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Monday, November 11, 2013

To Stay Married, Keep Dating

One of my favorite memories from last year was not watching my young daughters rip into their Christmas presents, or seeing them perform in the school talent show. No, my happiest recollection was the date my husband and I went out on one stormy Tuesday night in November.
A few days before, we'd had our fill of running the girls to swimming lessons and fighting with them to do their homework. We could not endure the sight of one more PTA notice requesting money for this fundraiser or attendance at that meeting. We broke. We called a sitter and reserved a table at the most elegant restaurant in town.
And what a night it was. The sitter was late, of course, and the wind snapped off tree branches and hurled them at our car, but we made it. The food, the wine, and the service were fine. We put the children firmly out of our minds. By the time the salad came, we were sufficiently unwound.
We started having fun. We were laughing. The subjects of the weird charge on our cell phone bill or our dire need for a new refrigerator never entered the discussion. We were transformed into the couple we used to be before children, two cars, and a mortgage. We were footloose, fancy free, and out for a good time.
The happiness of that evening stayed with us for many days. We were attentive to one another. We remembered why we'd gotten married and were glad for it, proving my mother's advice that happy couples continue to date each other forever.
"It's important," she'd say.
But, in the early years of our marriage, I'd make excuses. Diaper and formula bills left little money for nights out on the town. It was impossible to find a good babysitter. It was selfish of us to take time away from the children.
"Make it a priority," my mother would respond. "Children are the result of the marriage, not the reason for it."
Like a lot of couples, my husband and I had forgotten that. We'd completely wrapped ourselves up in our children and their needs. We started losing sight of each other, but we knew that if we didn't make time for our relationship, our children would grow up and we'd be left behind, looking at each other and wondering, "Who the heck is this person?"
So we decided to make it a goal to go out on a date once a month (once a week is better, according to my mother), and I heartily recommend you do the same. If you're a woman and your husband is reluctant, don't guilt trip him into "taking" you out. You're not luggage. Instead, remind him that you love him, and tell him that you miss having him to yourself. That should convince him.
I'm not going to pretend it's ever easy to squeeze a date onto a calendar of never-ending responsibilities. It isn't. My husband and I had dinner plans tonight, but we had to cancel due to an event at our daughters' school. It's disappointing, but it won't deter us. We'll just reschedule our night out for next week.
We've made it a priority because, as my mother counseled, our happy marriage depends on it.

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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Most Important Marriage Advice You'll Ever Get

As you know, there's a lot of free marriage advice available to couples, particularly on the internet. Since the majority of marriage advice you'll get is from family and friends, you'll most likely narrow down what you're willing to hear, to the people you respect most.

Let's suppose your uncle who often finds himself propped up with adult beverages, gives you marriage advice that sounds like, "Lookit. Ya gotta get smart and jus do what I do. Keep yur mouth shut and just say uh hu, ya, you bet, to anything she/he says. THAT's how you stay married." Certainly not much help, but even sober opinions from the personal experience of several family members probably won't qualify as the best marriage advice you'll ever get. It will be limited to their own experience with their own marriage, or in many cases marriages.
So as we look past the limited viewpoints of friends, family and coworkers about marriage, we move out to people who make a living talking with married couples in crisis. These people are more objective and have seen a lot of married couples so they probably can give better, or at least more objective marriage advice. We start with marriage counselors. Marriage counseling has been around as a profession for the last forty years. When a profession has been around THAT long, you'd think they would have figured out the best marriage advice of all. But unfortunately, the profession started out on the wrong foot. They began with the belief that people needed to talk about their problems in order to find a solution. The odd part about this is that it has proven to be wrong. The more couples talk about their problems, the more problems they believe they have. As a consequence, many marriage counseling and couples therapy sessions have encouraged, rather than discouraged divorce. Because hot emotions intensify in these sessions, the couples stomp out the office, one spouse feeling validated, the other feeling the brunt of the blame. But ultimately, the couple will never return. The majority of marriage counselors, as it turns out, are really therapists who enjoy talking to one individual. That's where they find their real calling.
Let's look at another form of marriage advice; self help authors and life coaches. These people often work by telephone coaching groups, couples and individuals on pretty much the gambit of living what they call a successful life. The field is too new and disorganized to give these individuals any kind of rating system, so you just have to look and see who you like by reading what they write, watching their video's, reading their blogs, etc.
In this world of life coaching, there are many opinions as well, but these people have decided to get into this growing field because of their own life experience. Now here the problem becomes who can you trust? I'm going to assume that you want the best marriage advice you'll ever get, so what would that be and who would this advice be aimed at?
There are two audiences for the best marriage advice you'll ever get.
1) People who are not married but want to be.
2) People who are already married.
Both of these people can't have the same answer, so let me separate my responses, starting with the not yet married.
NOT YET MARRIED BUT WANT TO BE: You may have previously been married but lost your spouse through death or through divorce, but you are now in a place where marriage is on your mind.
Here is my advice to you:
It is a well researched and long proven fact that the quality of your marriage is actually decided in your first 10 years of childhood. For those of you who are surprised by this, look at what neurological scientists have discovered about the brain over the last 15 years.
Their research shows that the brain is the only organ that starts large at birth, and then shrinks with age. This shrinking is created when "synaptic connections", (these are brain cells that connect to other brain cells) which number in the billions within the first three years of life, begin to die off.
But here's the interesting point. The synaptic connections that remain are the ones that are secured by the behavior of the adults who raise you. Those brain cells remain because they live on to carry your instructions on how to live life.
If your parents were frustrated and angry people, these are the "instructions" you have on how to deal with situations. If they were calm, pleasant and rational people, you are now carrying around in your brain, the instructions that allow you to instantly handle situations in the very same way. Now it's time to be an adult and get married. As it turns out, most of us wind up looking for what we don't have ourselves, and we do it without any thought. A softhearted woman looks for a man with strength, only to find one with a hot temper after they're married. A quiet, keep to himself guy finds great attraction in an outgoing funny girl, only to learn that she wants him to love the social life like she does. The greatest marriage advice I can give you after 14 years of working with married couples is to find out all about the childhood of the one you intend to commit to. What you're after specifically is to find a man/woman who had a good father in those first ten years. The ideal father is a dad who took a genuine interest in all the things that mattered to his child. Your best choice in a spouse is a man/woman who would rate their dad a 90% to 100% on a "good dad scale". What you get when you find the son/daughter of a really great dad is emotional stability. That means he/she is able to stay calm, rational, clear headed and productive when discussing difficult topics. The greatest marriage advice you'll ever get is to ONLY marry the product of a great dad.
IF YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED: Once you marry, this advice changes radically. You read the above answer and realize "Hey! I didn't marry the product of a great dad!" Here's an interesting research fact for you. Of all the people who have gone through my marriage course, 98% of them have at least one member of the duo who comes from troubled fathers. More to the point, I have virtually NEVER had a couple come to me with marriage problems, when BOTH of them came from great fathers! What a wakeup call! If you want to know more about Real Dads, do a Google search for The Secret Of Becoming A Real Dad. You'll find an article with more insight about what amounts to, the most important marriage advice you'll ever get. And if you would like to understand more about how your brain was formed by the adults who raised you, you can get a copy of my special report, "Your Invisible Lifestyle: Is It Helping or Hurting Your Marriage?" by doing a quick search on Google for that title.


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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Marriage Tips for Newlyweds

Some good marriage tips for newlyweds can be helpful for the couples to establish a healthy and sustainable marital relationship. This article contains a number of valuable marriage advice for them. Read on...

There is a misconception that newlyweds do not face any kind of marital problems. Though the fact is that it is far from the truth. Like any other married couples, they too have their share of disagreements, arguments and fights. Many married couples believes that it was the first two years of their marriage that they found the most difficult to handle. However, if a couple decides to deal with certain issues at the beginning, then it will be a lot more easier for them to have a satisfying married life in future.

Tips for Newly Married Couples

Our wedding traditions involve lots of fun, frolic, romance, beautiful dresses, decorations and you feel like you are living a dream! After marriage, when the reality sets in, you realize that the actual scenario is not as rosy as you had imagined. Here are a few tips for a healthy married life that should be followed by you and your partner together:

Change Your Attitude: Before marriage, you used to think about your happiness and comfort as an individual. Marriage is an entity where it is important for you to take care of your partner's needs and wants as well. When you are married, you have to start thinking in terms of a team. At times, you may have to make sacrifices for the well-being of your spouse. Never mind even your spouse is also going to make a number of sacrifices for your sake!

Have Patience: Petty annoyances are bound to give rise to some conflicts. Accept this reality and try to sort it out with a bit of patience. While addressing any such problem, make sure you do not end up making personal attack against your spouse. Most importantly, screaming and yelling at him/her is not going to help. Rather, it can provoke more bitter feelings in your partner's mind.

Keep the Romance Alive: This is very important because lack of romance and sexual intimacy often have an adverse effect on the marriage. Many newlyweds believe that romance dies after marriage as they start taking each other for granted. However, this is not true. Romance gets a completely new meaning in married life. It is not confined to nice gifts, flowers and candlelit dinners anymore. Now, the focus is more on caring each other, appreciating each other and sharing the joys of your life with your partner. All these things will keep the freshness of your marriage intact.

Communicate with Each Other: There is nothing wrong if there are issues where you and your partner do not agree with each other. However, if you do not resolve them, then it can snowball into much bigger ones in the long run. Have an open discussion with your partner and tell him or her about your feelings and thoughts. This can solve half the problem. Communication does not mean that you will talk and the other person will listen. Make sure you give chance to your partner to express his or her viewpoint as well. In other words, you should be a good listener too. This way you will get to know about your spouse's expectations.

Manage the Finances: The root cause of many of the marital problems is money. Therefore, from the very start, you should make efforts to manage the financial matters together. Initially, there could be some financial difficulties due to huge expenses in the wedding and honeymoon. You can successfully deal with this problem by proper planning of your monthly budget. It may sound a bit difficult but when you will find that you can save some money with this kind of planning, I am sure none of you are going to complain.

These marriage tips for newlyweds can strengthen the bond between the husband and the wife. Finally, I would like to say that with right kind of approach towards the new changes in life and investing some time for knowing each other, you can make this phase of your life memorable and very much enjoyable!


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Monday, September 23, 2013

Advice For a Marriage - How to Deal With the "M" Word

Do not think that for one minute it plays favorites. It has intruded on couples that have been married for twenty plus years and made a mess of things.

At the opposite end of the scale, newlyweds just starting out with dreams of love that they believe will sustain them through anything and everything have gotten a rude wake up call. And couples in between newlywed and long term have felt the sting.

It has broken up many marriages and engagements for that matter. You never know when it's going to strike but it's always out there even when you think that you have got a handle on it.

The it is money and through the years it has tested many a relationship. Some have passed with flying colors; others were not so fortunate. Even those that came through have the scars to prove it.

The truth is talking about money is an integral part of any relationship. You and your significant other are pooling your resources to work for a better life. There is also no escaping the reality that money makes the world go round. The dream house, the nice car, food on the table, traveling to a romantic getaway and keeping the lights are not freebies. It also does not help either that the cost of living keeps rising and the economy is in shambles.

Couples know this going into the relationship but still they get blindsided. Money can do that if you and your spouse are not careful.

1. Talk Now
People see the same exact thing and give completely different answers as well as perspectives. Money is one of those things. Do they believe in saving for a rainy day or are they of the mindset that life is short so spend it while you can? Realizing there were two different philosophies at play has come as an unpleasant surprise to a lot of couples.

Talking now may save you another surprise and that is your significant other has debt. They may have managed to keep a roof over their head but their life is short philosophy has come at a price they cannot afford. Even spouses that have been married a few years were stunned to find out that when it comes to finances their significant other was leading a double life.

2. Same Book Different Chapter
Both of you have been doing a good job with the family finances in particular saving money. But one spouse thinks that the movie size flat screen TV monitor they saw online (serious high definition) would sure look good on that empty wall in the living room. Meanwhile the other spouse also went on line and saw the perfect vacation package; a nice cruise with all the trimmings at a great price.
A difference of opinion on how to utilize money is going to happen. Some have used it as a stepping stone to find the middle ground. It does not necessarily mean they are happy with the decision. However both accept the fact that some sort of compromise was needed. Or they may even decide to take turns. This time around one spouse gets their way but both work hard to make sure that in the near future the other spouse also gets their way.

Needless to say a few couples use that difference of opinion as a starting point to tearing the marriage apart.

3. Your Mad Money
The two of you respect and understand each other's likes and dislikes. It doesn't mean you want to go along with it completely. So you decide it is in the best interest of the relationship to have your own separate accounts. This is okay as long as it does not take away from what should be the main focus; the overall financial health of the family. If you decide to put a certain amount into your separate account that is fine. But understand that life intrudes and some months a percentage of that money is going to have to be redirected into the family budget.

Mad money is a terrific way to pamper yourself and we all need that from time to time. But keep it secondary.

It is hard to avoid the talk of money in any relationship. Even if a couple is financially well off the discussion can still come up. And like other hot button issues such as politics and religion, if you are not careful the discussion can get very heated and very emotional with both sides digging in their heels and refusing to budge.


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Saturday, September 14, 2013

Newlyweds' Tips for A Successful Marriage


Most divorces happen within the first few years of marriage. It is very important for newlyweds to wade through the storm and make it through. There are a few rules that all newlyweds should strive to follow. This article will give you a few tips for a successful marriage for newlyweds.
It is absolutely vital that the two of you share your future goals with each other, even before walking down the aisle. One of the most important goals to talk about is whether the two of you want to have children. It is important that you are both on the same page as far as this particular goal is concerned. If you're not on the same page it's imperative you're able to talk it through and come to an understanding or compromise before you commit to each other. You also need to discuss your long term career or business goals. Make plans and try to stick to them.

Another newlyweds' tip for a successful marriage is to try and avoid as much negativity as possible. You should never focus all of your energy on pointing out the negative aspects of the relationship. Try to spend as much time dealing with the positives as you can. If you are negative all the time, chances are your husband will be exactly the same.

Most guys aren't comfortable sharing their feelings. Try to get to understand your husband and recognize his emotional cues. This will help the two of you communicate more effectively. When it comes to you, make sure that you express your feelings directly. He will not be able to read your mind so you should not expect him to try.

Newlyweds should discuss whether they wish to have children early on in the marriage. Having children can put a strain on the relationship between the two of you but can be an immense source of pleasure. You both need to look at the pros and cons of having a family immediately: for instance you may wish to weigh up the need for building a solid foundation first before trying to start a family with the wish to have children early so that you still have time to pursue the career you want later on.

Finances are a key aspect of any marriage, but particularly so for newlyweds. Financial problems have caused many, many divorces. So this is an area you should want to get right from the outset. Be conscious of how you spend money, and try your best to spend less than you make. Start a savings plan for your future together. And once a month consider going through your finances openly and honestly.

It is also vital that you keep up your appearance. Men and women alike have a habit of letting themselves go after they have become comfortable with their partner. Don't be one of them. Even though you want to be casual when you're lounging around the house, when you go out make an effort to look good both for your husband and yourself.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Evergreen Seasoned Marriage Is Your Right As A Newlywed Couple

Evergreen Seasoned Marriage

Evergreen Seasoned Marriage Is Your Right As A Newlywed Couple
Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman to become husband and wife. It is precisely, a union in agreement, of a man and a woman to become one, live under one roof complement each other, and share things in equal. Marriage is the submission of oneself totally to one's spouse, living for each other and bearing each other's difference all though one's life time.

My first marriage advice for every newlywed couples, is that you must throw your dating overshadowing into the a waste bin or trash it in a trashcan because the stage of your dating has ended. And right now, you are into building a life-long relationship you will dwell in; and enjoy throughout your life existence. Good a thing you have now accepted your spouse without an element of double mindedness, doubt, lack of trust nor fear of any kind, but with unconditional love, to love and to behold your darling love in the best of your ability in order to create a happy and successful home than can stand evergreen in all seasons.

Secondly, you need to be ready to do everything in your might to ensure that your marriage works out as one amongst the rare marriages of emulation. But to belong to this calibre, you have to cultivate emotional maturity, sensitivity, creativity, and at the same time, be physically, and spiritually sound in order to be capable of the upkeep and maintenance of your new marriage.

Thirdly, it is my candid advice to all newlyweds, not be insincere at all, but, try to emphasize on your "attachment Bond". An attachment bond is the emotional connector that ties your hearts together as one, and deepens overtime. The attachment bond comes naturally into the marriage when both of you have whole heartedly fulfilled your first sexual relationship as husband and wife. Once this happens, both of you have to quickly readjust and queue in and commence building your family out rightly. Your "nuptial knot, or attachment bond" needs to be given every due attention to, especially, if you desire to achieve an evergreen marriage that can survive all seasons.

Fourthly, no matter the degree of any marriage advice designed for newlywed you may have come in contact with, love, patience and respect to yourselves can never be overemphasized in your oneness, and growth as a newlywed couple. This, will help you achieve an intense respect and build trust in yourselves, thereby, keeping your marriage secure both from external and internal attacks.

As Newlywed couple, I have this as my fifth marriage advice to you: both of you need to understand yourselves as quickly as you could; to be able to know how and where to pay attention to your emotions with due benevolence and keenly pay attention to your feelings. You need not just to listen with your ear, but with your heart also. You need to hear your spouse though with your ear, but with deeper understanding in your mind as this will lead you to primary understand what your needs are at all time; both spiritual, material and emotional needs. Therefore, demonstrate the practical love above that which ordinary words of lips promises can express; but that love which your behaviours and attitudes can indepthly express. As I have said earlier, try to understand your spouse's heart, and both of you should ensure that you respect each other. Most times as you come to you to share hearts with yourselves, be free and pay due attention with love; for your attention is the paramount powerful way to quickly give you understanding, and therefore tolerate your spouse.

My sixth marriage advice for every newlywed is that you have to make earnest efforts to understand that your better-half is from a different background from you, both of you own attributes quite very unique from yourselves. I advice that you should patiently study your each other very well in order to understand yourselves very well. Bear in mind that both of you are not of the same background, as a result, what your spouse may react to could be different from what you will react to, therefore, you need to study and understand yourselves to the core. Besides, avoid anything that could cause quarrel in your marriage. Actually there is no way, you can live as one without disagreement, but I advice that you give no opportunity to any form of disagreement, argument or misunderstanding nor any form of marriage squabble that may want to threaten or overshadow your marriage.

My seventh marriage advise to the newlyweds is that you have to use one mind in harmony, to confront and solve with immediate effect, any conflicting issues that would arise in your marriage; because a little leaven, leavens the whole lump. Reserving in the cooler any unresolved conflict or misunderstanding repeatedly can mature at any time and develop into a more difficult problem that could give birth to divorce threat or outright divorce. Therefore, amicably resolve any question of marriage squabble, misunderstanding or quarrel without delay.

On my eight marriage advice to the newlywed I have this to say, instead of clinching your fists or bearing long faces, you can also opt for a marriage advice from a marriage advice expert or a marriage counsellor to help you out of difficult issues, then both of you will make up and continue to live peaceably in your evergreen marriage.

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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Relationship Advice For the Newlywed

Newlyweds often enjoys the first two to three years of marriage, this is usually common to young couple. But as time progresses there are a lot of instances where married couple would not be able to maintain their earlier behavior towards their partners. A lot of married couple tend to take each other for granted after being together for such a period of time.

Do not forget kind words this is one relationship advice common to all married couple, you may remember when you first met your partner both of you have been showing kindness to one another. Very polite and courteous, none would miss saying "thank you", "please" and "I'm sorry". Those words are simple gestures that disappear as time passes by. It is important to always render the kind of respect to your partner in return your partner will repay the same gesture.

Over time there is also a tendency that you may forget to listen to your husband or wife as he or she speaks. Do not forget to listen and know the needs of your partners; always complement and give your adoration. Two-way communication is very critical, you don't stay quiet when your partner speaks his or her mind give your honest views and share your interests. Your partner didn't marry a robot that will agree with everything he or she would say. Be interactive and creative make your married life exciting and refresh it every day with new ideas. Explore one another and always find out something new about your partner. It is funny to think that some married couples do not know the favorite foods of their partners. It may be unlikely but these are detrimental threats to a married life. You must take note that there are married couple who are together but are not actually connected, this is because they live on their own individually and not as one as husband and wife. Relationship advice is not just for newlyweds, it is also for married couples who had been together for such a long time and forgotten they're married.

Do not lose sexual intimacy this will affect your married life eventually if unchecked for a couple times. This is common to married couple, although it may be unintentional it should be noted that sexual relationship is very important in marriage. Newlyweds may not think about this or even consider this as impossible. Well as a relationship advice it is best to be on guard and take note that we are all prone to such weakness.

When you have arguments during the day make sure that you settle it before going to bed, it is not right to sleep over an unsettled argument. Do not tolerate communication gaps as it is the most important part in any relationships. Be selfless and always seek if your partner needs something, be sensitive not of yourself but of your partners', for sure this gesture will be manifested by your partner as well; and may even be contributed by your partner that will make your married life better.

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Saturday, August 17, 2013

3 Simple Tips to Beat the Newlywed Blues

Been married under 12 months? Feeling frustrated with you spouse or marriage? Wondering why you got married? Questioning why your relationship has changed for the worse since saying, "I do." If you answered yes to these questions, then you may be experiencing what is known as the newlywed blues or better yet the marriage effect. The marriage effect happens in all marital relationships. But it is how you approach it that will determine the happiness level of your partnership.

You can shake the marital blues and start experiencing great bliss and satisfaction in your life and relationship. Here are 3 tips on beating the newlywed blues:

1. Spend quality time with yourself daily. In order to experience more joy, love and happiness in your relationship, then first look within yourself. ME time allows you to get in touch with your true authentic inner love mojo which breaks through negative patterns, words, anger, worry and regret. Connect with yourself daily to recharge your love batteries. Spend 15 minutes a day as down time to reflect, rejoice and release. You can break this time into 5 minute power bursts if you are unable to find 15 minutes of uninterrupted time. Start a daily practice to tap in deeper within. Today, set aside 5 minutes to do one of these simple practices:
  • Journal about your day.
  • Daydream.
  • Sit in silence.
  • Read an inspirational scripture or passage from your favorite book.
  • Jump up and down to get your heart rate up.
  • Turn on your favorite song and rock out.
  • Recite your daily gratitude - the things that happened to you TODAY that you are grateful for.
2. Make WE time a MUST. Time together is as important as time alone. It is easy to get caught up in work, friends, family or life. Make time to deliberately get caught up in your Baby Cakes. Schedule 20-30 minutes a day to debrief and share your day with each other. Each of you can take 10-15 minutes sharing and then listening to the other. Go ahead, set a daily reminder on your smart phone to just BE with each daily. Here are a few conversation starters:
  • If your day was an animal what would it be?
  • Would you describe your day as lukewarm, cold or scolding hot?
  • Act out your day?
  • What's the one word that best describes your day?
3. Let go of the small stuff. Okay, so he left his bath towel on the bathroom floor...for the fourth time this week. So, she didn't rinse her plate off before putting it in the dishwasher. She's talking to her mom for the tenth time in the last two hours. So what??? Learn to let the little things be exactly that - little. You may share your frustration about these issues and your honey may promise to change it but the next time it happens again, you'll be in the same frustrated state. Ask yourself, "On a scale of 1-10 how important will this be in 50 years?"
It is easy to get caught up in the marriage effect and every couple experiences some level of it. Agree with your spouse to not let the newlywed blues steal your joy, happiness and love.

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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Newlyweds' Tips for A Successful Marriage

Most divorces happen within the first few years of marriage. It is very important for newlyweds to wade through the storm and make it through. There are a few rules that all newlyweds should strive to follow. This article will give you a few tips for a successful marriage for newlyweds.

It is absolutely vital that the two of you share your future goals with each other, even before walking down the aisle. One of the most important goals to talk about is whether the two of you want to have children. It is important that you are both on the same page as far as this particular goal is concerned. If you're not on the same page it's imperative you're able to talk it through and come to an understanding or compromise before you commit to each other. You also need to discuss your long term career or business goals. Make plans and try to stick to them.

Another newlyweds' tip for a successful marriage is to try and avoid as much negativity as possible. You should never focus all of your energy on pointing out the negative aspects of the relationship. Try to spend as much time dealing with the positives as you can. If you are negative all the time, chances are your husband will be exactly the same.

Most guys aren't comfortable sharing their feelings. Try to get to understand your husband and recognize his emotional cues. This will help the two of you communicate more effectively. When it comes to you, make sure that you express your feelings directly. He will not be able to read your mind so you should not expect him to try.

Newlyweds should discuss whether they wish to have children early on in the marriage. Having children can put a strain on the relationship between the two of you but can be an immense source of pleasure. You both need to look at the pros and cons of having a family immediately: for instance you may wish to weigh up the need for building a solid foundation first before trying to start a family with the wish to have children early so that you still have time to pursue the career you want later on.

Finances are a key aspect of any marriage, but particularly so for newlyweds. Financial problems have caused many, many divorces. So this is an area you should want to get right from the outset. Be conscious of how you spend money, and try your best to spend less than you make. Start a savings plan for your future together. And once a month consider going through your finances openly and honestly.

It is also vital that you keep up your appearance. Men and women alike have a habit of letting themselves go after they have become comfortable with their partner. Don't be one of them. Even though you want to be casual when you're lounging around the house, when you go out make an effort to look good both for your husband and yourself.

You might be interested in this site:
The Ultimate Guide to Planning your Wedding

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Monday, August 5, 2013

Marriage Advice For Newlyweds - What You'll Be Glad You Learned Early About Marriage!



Did you just get married and now you're looking for marriage advice for newlyweds?
If so then pat yourself on the back because you're being proactive. Most people don't seek advice until their marriage is in dire trouble.

Whether you're seeking this advice because you've been seeing some turmoil or because you just want to get ahead of the game, this article will help you...

What you'll Be Glad You Found Out Early in the Game...
Getting married is an exciting and fun time, and usually people in the lovely honeymoon stage are blissful and fully in love.

Your job should be to try and keep it in that stage for as long as possible. Here's the deal, I had a ton of trouble in my marriage, in fact it stretched out to be about 5 years or so of trouble.

But I don't say that to discourage you at all. You see unlike a lot of people I'm not jaded by marriage. I think marriage can and should be a life long celebration of two people who found each other, connected, and made a decision to stay together for the rest of their lives.

Most people take that vow very light heartedly these days with one eye on the divorce attorney business card all the while. That's not the right way to go about things, and the one thing that I talk about a lot is how you should totally take divorce off the table as an option. Totally burn that bridge and I think you'll see your marriage have a lot more success.

What You As a Newlywed Should Start Doing Now Rather Than Wait...
You probably think I'm going to say learn to communicate effectively right? That's what everyone says. Sure learn to communicate that's important too, but not as important as learning to embrace one another's differences.

And while they're still prevalent in your mind, before life gets in the way start taking notes of all the things that you truly love and admire about your spouse, and take the time to notice those things each and everyday. Become and learn to love each other as best friends and your marriage will survive the thick and thin, because it's my opinion and that the bond of friendship lasts longer than the bond of sexual love and intimacy.
But the two together make a powerful combination and can literally change the entire course of your marriage. Most people will never get the marriage advice that they need in order to enjoy the marriage they deserve.

And if you're taking your marriage vows seriously then you truly do deserve a great marriage and if you do a few simple things that I've told you, you will get exactly that.
But What if My Marriage Is Already Seeing Trouble...

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