Great Newlywed Advice
As newlyweds, this might not be a major concern for you. But perhaps the fear is lingering at the back of your mind... 'is this going to last for the long term?' ' I hope I don't end up like my parents' etc etc.
Nevertheless, heed the following advice and the odds will be stacked in your favor. Ignore it, and you will be in for a rocky time. Enjoy.
1. Even if it's completely justified, do not criticize your partner. Every time you criticize, it's like saying 'I don't like you the way you are'. Keep doing it, and you wear away at the bond between you. If you just can't help yourself, and lets face it sometimes you just need to say something. Use a technique mastered by the greatest communicators of our time. The sandwich method.
Rather than just flat out criticizing, first give a compliment. This gives a good feeling before you hit them with a criticism. Then once they are still reeling from that, you slip in another compliment. This will let your partner know you still love them and feeling good. Try it sometime. You will be amazed.
2. This next idea might sound corny, but hear me out. It can help you through the toughest times in your relationship. Here it is.. keep a list of all the things you love about your partner, all the things that bring a smile to your face.
I told you it was corny. But look. When you're in the middle of a fight (which will eventually happen) it's all to easy to forget what you love about your spouse. Use this list to remind yourself why you are together. You don't even have to share it with anyone, keep it secret if you like.
3. Similar to #2, take the time to appreciate the good in your partner. When you notice something worth praising, don't keep it to yourself. Just like criticism weakens the relationship, sincere praise is the fuel that makes it stronger. Praise your partner at every opportunity. They will feel better about themselves, about you, and you will feel better as well. Trust me.
4. Marriage can be tough at times. Ask anyone who has been together for a significant length of time. One of the keys is to develop patience and the ability to listen to your spouse. When you find yourself having a knee-jerk reaction, catch yourself, take a step back and breathe. Remember those good things and try to understand where they are coming from.
And that's it. It's not complicated. But it's not easy either. Work on developing these four habits though and you can look forward to a long and happy marriage.
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