When writing your wedding vows I want you to remember that you are in it for the long haul and write your vows based on the dream you have for your life together on a long term basis. This means more than just 'being' in love, sometimes referred to as 'temperorary madness.'

Your vows are about creating a strong, foundational love and enjoying all the benefits that means for a very long time.

Let's look a bit at the idea of being in love and how it relates to your wedding or commitment vows by reading this quote from Captain Corelli's Mandolin. You might even choose to have someone read it at your wedding ceremony.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.

That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

I want you to write your wedding or marriage vows so that they are powerful enough to twine your branches into one trunk without taking away what is individual to both of you.

Some Hydrangea bushes have pink blossoms on one side and blue blossoms on the other. They have one root system but two different and unique colors on the same bush.

Have a big, long term dream for your own lives and for the life of your marriage.

Make it come alive by keeping that dream in front of you by reading the vows or part of them every day; putting together a vision board that you have in front of you where you have to look at it often; and by reading the 10 Commandments of Marriage.

Too many marriages end because they fall from fantasy without a safety net to secure them. They live only in the present and have no real future life.

Your vows are your safety net. They are the promises of what you are going to do to keep the dream of your marriage alive and thriving and intimate. Write them with purpose, passion and have fun doing it!


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